On Death and Dying (pt. 2).

To review: These are the stages of grief, as posited by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. The two asterisks denote additional stages not necessarily credited to Kübler-Ross.
Shock stage*: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
Testing stage*: Seeking realistic solutions.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

I wound down last night’s post by saying, “I miss the stability of what my life was prior to the end of this relationship. I am going to channel President Obama here and say, let me be clear – I do not miss that relationship. I miss what it represented.” This is a true story. When I think back over the years, I do get reminiscent of what was good. However, I also know (because I have a working brain) what was wrong. And the bads outweighed the goods enough to cause the end of the relationship.

Here’s the deal, and this is why I do not know where I am on my stage of grief cycle: I liked being married and having a house, a single family unit, the pets, yard, etc., that are all part of it. . . I miss it. . .

Being out of that relationship is a good thing for me. This, I know. Grief is hard, however. The process is rough. Honestly, it’s rougher than I thought it was going to be. Philosophically, I suppose that is a good thing, right? That which does not kill us and all that. . . So, I know I am going to be bigger, better, and stronger as a result of my relationship with X and the subsequent split.

Going through these motions and steps is a good thing. It will help me rebuild my own sense of self. My own sense of self-worth, self-love, and self-respect. This is important, you know? :)

OK – time to get back to work. Ciao.

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~ by shinshige on 6 July 2011.

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