Epiphany?

Hmmm . . .  This morning, I was doing dishes.  No – not loading the dishwasher – but actually doing the dishes, in the kitchen sink, with soap, and a sponge.  When all of a suggen – WHAM!!!

I remember – very clearly – having series of conversations last year with my friends (prior to moving away,) about being content with one’s life.  I have always, as can be found by reading some of last year’s posts, believed people should not be content but should constantly strive for more.  Strive for bigger, strive for better. . .

I am rarely content.  Someone once asked me, as a result of my seemingly perpetual discontent, if I was a “grass is always greener” kind of guy. Since I wrote that post, I DID actually move to California. . . for about 7 weeks.  Bah.  Came back – and guess what?  It’s the same here.  The same fucked up weather, the same fucked up politics – the same thing, the same thing, the same thing. . .  So, what IS the winter of my discontent?  It is contentedness.  Ha.  I slay me.

My epiphany this morning has to do with the grass being greener.  Do I think my old premise has changed?  No – probably not.  I do think, however, that I had the right ideas all along – just did not know it.  I said, “The world teaches us to be content with what we have and work to make that better,” and I then went on to call that premise a bunch of shit.  Er, excuse me – a bunch o’ shit.  Here we are – 15 months later, and while doing dishes, I realize how dumb I was then.  This is why:  That sentence above – you know, the one in quotes, is a flawed statement.  How, exactly, can one be content with what one has AND THEN work to make it better?  Is not working to make what one has better – by definition – showing discontent?  How can you be content with something you wish to change?  You can’t.  So – you MUCH change it.

Now – during this same time, I had many a conversation with a fantastically brilliant and beautiful woman, who was dealing with some issues of discontent of her own.  I had mentioned some things to her I thought would help, and here we are a year later – and she is better off as a result (at least as far as I know.)  Later – she threw my own advice back to me and this is that she said:  “You’re the one who said that you should change what you don’t like until you like it.”  What is that?  That is looking for the other side – where the grass is greener.  But until this morning, I did not recognize MY OWN DISCONNECT. . .

The epiphany was this:  To be most effective and efficient – we SHOULD take WHAT WE HAVE and simply CHANGE WHAT WE DON’T LIKE until we like it.  Get it?  We don’t need to abandon one pasture to find the greener one.  The grass IS always greener. . .  I totally believe that.  But – why do I need to go to the other side?  “The other side” is philosophical, it is metaphorical, it is literal, it is, it is, it is . . .  It just is.  The other side – ALWAYS happens.  It IS that which is next.  It’s the other side.  Do you get it?  Do you understand?  the GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER on THE OTHER SIDE.

You don’t need to change the grass – you just need to change when and how you get to the other side.

Some one asked me once if I was a “grass is always greener kind of person”.

Is the grass always greener?

Ummm – yeah, I think so. And – I don’t necessarily think that’s a problem.

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~ by shinshige on 12 July 2009.

9 Responses to “Epiphany?”

  1. Life is multiple choice.

    You can stay where you are, happy or unhappy. You can change your circumstance that meke you happy or unhappy. You can passively roll with life’s changes and be happy or unhappy. The can actively choose to be where the grass is always greener where you’ll attain contentment for at least a little while until you’re comfortable and want/experience the same cycle(s) again. “Change what you don’t like until you like it”? – sounds an awful lot like changing perspective and attitude to me.

    I’m trying to understand your take on contentedness and peace. The tone of your post, to me, implies that it’s a bad thing?

    Was it only 7 weeks? God damn.

  2. Eddie: Was the intent: “You MUST change it”? – rather than MUCH?

  3. To continue the metaphor:
    Perhaps the attitude adjustment that makes one’s own grass – or the “this side” of the arguement – a little greener is the patience one must have for fertilizing and watering to take effect. To continue, perhaps hard work and diligence in nuturing the grass where you are is the attention given to your current situation and the efforts to alter them, then only through the inherent patience of diligence and perseverance shall one change their world [perceived or real] and make their own grass greener. Of course, maybe the fertilizer is merely bullshit too?! That’s been known to make pastures greener. :/

  4. Wow, finally day five.

    Eddie, my dear. Life is what we make of it. we have to find content within ourselves, wherever we find ourselves. Embracing our contentment is an art, knowing it is a rarity. Maybe Erma Bombeck said it best… “The grass is always greener over the septic tank.”

    Life is what we make of it, what we learn, and what we give. Not what it gives us, bends to us, or spits on us.

  5. We have shared more poignant moments in conversation over the last year, and I love that you and I both still think about them.

    I like what you have made of your “grass is greener” look on life.

    To answer your question, yes, I am happier, much much happier these days. I face challenges in different ways and different challenges than a year ago, but I love life, now more fully.

    I always wish the best for you.

  6. I love when people respond to my posts. I really need to start checking our my roll again. I neglect me peeps – for that, I am sorry. . .

    Sid – Yeah, 7 weeks or so . . . :( Not long enough – not long enough at all. . . Of course I do not think contentedness and peace are bad things. I think settling is a bad thing. I know – practice what you preach and all that. I get it. I want perfection. I want people to strive for the best for themselves and their peeps . . . Gah.

    Milne – You may be full of bullshit – but seriously, you rock. You say things in a way that is extremely profound, yet understandable to a wide audience.

    Cele – I agree – life is absolutely what we make of it. ‘Nuff said about that.

    Jenn – I love you.

  7. Hey, we love you, man. Hang in there – glad to see you are posting again.

  8. Thank you all.

  9. Fuck.

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