Homophobe Asshat Laws.

OK – I got this email today, titled, “Man Laws.” It was a list of asinine rules men are supposed to follow. It is funny, I will give you that, but only if read with the amended title, as I have provided above. The following is a sampling of the list:

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss’s car. (d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.

13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

29: We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
” BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on our collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”

Good luck, men.

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~ by shinshige on 21 May 2008.

One Response to “Homophobe Asshat Laws.”

  1. How men survive courtship, I’ll never know.

    I mean every other man besides myself, of course.

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