What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas (mostly).

tl;dr: Went to Vegas, met up with Antonio, partied with the cast of Zumanity, had big fun.

Blogging, by nature, is conflicted. It is a public forum for private thoughts. Therefore, we may not always be free to divulge all we would like to express. Last week, at the introduction to one of his posts, Sideon wrote, “the name, the time, the place are intentionally ambiguous to protect the not-so-innocent, and I’m not talkin’ about me.” With that – I am not sure how to approach, for the blogosphere, my 5 days in Sin City.

Hmmmmm . . . How about this:

We drove out Sunday morning, after dropping off Plato at the resort. We arrived at New York – New York a little after 3:00 (forgot about gaining an hour) and checked in immediately. We went to the room to get sitchiated (hubba hubba), and then went downstairs to kill some time before dinner. We were meeting some folks I know, who just happened to be down there at the same time, at the Irish pub in the hotel. While killing said time, Sarah put $20 in a Wheel of Fortune machine and promptly spun a winning spin of 500 credits, which ultimately went back into the machines, but only after paying for dinner. ;) We chatted for a bit, played some more games, then went back to the room to go to bed (hubba hubba).

Monday was to be our relaxing day, with massages and shopping. It was pretty relaxing, except – for $300 – we should have received the greatest fucking massages of our lives. Alas, ‘twas not the case. The massages were borderline acceptable, the spa was not co-ed, so we had to remain in our own lounges, with no fraternizing. Fucking lame, says I. There was a television in the men’s lounge which was playing, throughout my time there, the Soprano’s, ESPN, and Spike TV. I did not know machismo was a requirement of a relaxing morning at the spa. After the massages, we went a-walkin’ down the strip. Sarah’s foot got FUBAR and by the next day, she could hardly stand on it while wearing flats. We went to some shops and got a few knick-knacks, stopping for an early dinner at a Planet Hollywood restaurant in the Caesar’s Forum shops. It was OK; the food was under tasteful and over costly. That night was just another night in Vegas.

We slept in Tuesday then went to the pool for a couple hours before setting our sights on Zumanity. For dinner, we went to Gallagher’s steak house. The food was delish, the wait staff were very pleasant, and we got a beautiful picture of the Mrs. On to Zumanity. . . For those not in the know, Zumanity is the Cirque du Soleil cabaret. The show was very entertaining. I quite enjoyed it, actually. Some folks the next day were complaining it was not as aerobatic as they would have liked, but really, that was not its intention. One cast member, Antonio, plays a gigolo. Antonio is friends with Sarah and me, so it was neat seeing him in the show. The cast of characters also includes a transvestite MC, a demonic Fawn, various women (who at a few opportune moments proudly displayed their womanly goods **growl**), many hunk-a-hunka burnin’ hunks **growl** . Antonio flirted with most of the members of the audience, and was very attentive to the couple sitting next to us. He played his character well. As the show was concluding, Antonio called Sarah and me up to where he was standing (near the stage), placed a card he had signed in his mouth and passed it to Sarah, who in turned passed it to me (a la the tic tac game). After the show, we ran into Antonio in the foyer doing his after-the-show shtick. As we had no camera, we could not get our picture taken with the fine lad, and he made it a point to express his dismay at such a turn. Tsk tsk tsk. Nevertheless, we held him so long, he ended up being escorted away be an usher. We then went back to the room and turned in (a bit put out).

Wednesday was interesting. In Salt Lake, one can go to a Gentleman’s Club in the middle of the day and see what there is to see at a Gentleman’s Club. My assumption is – this is also the case in Las Vegas. Apparently, my assumption is incorrect. Shortly after noon we went to Olympic Garden to see what we could see. (Sarah has been known to fancy the female form.) Alex, the wonderful OG barkeep, made it known that the girls of OG are independent contractors, and as such, come and go as they please. It seems as though mid afternoon is not the time for them to come **snicker**. We left at 2:00, a bit disappointed. Oh – and I very much regret spending $13.00 for Sarah’s Sex on the Beach. Oh, oh – and I always forget I do not like Newcastle.

That evening, after dinner, and bit more gaming, we decided we would go back to Zumanity after the early show, with our camera, to get some shots with Antonio. . . As his gigoloness gigoloed down the stairs, he glanced up and saw us. In spite of the audience members from the current show wanting pictures, he waved us over, essentially shooing the miscreants aside. (We win.) He is good at his job. ;)

In between the shows that night, Antonio called me and asked me if I had bought a program for the show, to which I replied I had not. “Great – I will get one for you,” is a paraphrase of the Venezuelan proclamation. “Oh, and by the way, the cast and I are all going out tonight after the last show. Would you and Sarah like to come?”

Well, after the last show, Antonio called me again and asked me to come to the box office and get the program. He had it signed by quite a few of the cast. Ahhhhh . . . *blush*. I went downstairs and Sarah stayed in the room, as there was a miscommunication at some point as I thought the cast gathering was not going to take place. Since I was planning on simply going to pick up the program, Sarah opted to stay. Alas, I was again mistaken. Over the next 30 minutes, I was introduced to the stage, backstage, changing stations, costume stations, various crew members, another cast member, the inside of a car, a restaurant near the airport, the “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign, and other things. Antonio was a very gracious host.

As it turns out, the party was a go, so I called Sarah and we went back to the hotel and picked her up in Antonio’s car. He drove us to a locals place where the cast were all celebrating Simone’s birthday. He was the demonic fawn, and fucking beautiful, oh – and straight. (Happy birthday, Simone.) In her haste to get downstairs, however, Sarah forgot her camera; so unfortunately, we did not get the pics we would have liked at the restaurant with the cast of Zumanity. I know, right? Dinner at a restaurant with the cast of Zumanity – yikes. It was way big fun. The cast members are all extremely cute, friendly and seemingly happy people. We met Julia, the Russian on whom Sarah was crushing, and Jonel, my favourite of the girls (not to mention the other 30 or so people there). It was surreal. That’s a strange word, no? It was surreal – only because it was so real. After that, we just drove around for a little bit before returning to the hotel. We said good bye to Antonio, and he left.

Thursday, we drove home. After Wednesday night, Thursday could be nothing but anti-climactic. Now – here we are. I am back at work, and life is going on – much to my chagrin. After these last two weeks, my life will never be the same.


~ by shinshige on 26 April 2008.

2 Responses to “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas (mostly).”

  1. Yay, stories! It sounds like you had WAY more fun than I ever did in Vegas. Isn’t it difficult to return to reality (regular life) sometimes? I was there last week! Now, I’m trying to stay “in the moment,” so that I remember if I washed my feet or locked the door without checking each a couple times. Anyway, thanks for the Vegas recap in a writing voice that reads like your speaking one!

  2. Hey, I was in Vegas 2 weeks ago and had the pleasure of being hounded by Antonio during a reformance of Zumanity. Like you’es (and every second woman in the place) he gave me and my girlfried his trademark card which we now have proudly on our fridge in cold smelly Ireland. For me Antonio stole the show and was the hi-light of my trip to Vegas. Whilst sitting on the sofa seat next to us he even oursuded me and my girlfried to snog (Id be quite shy like that) but the engery of the show left me with no inhabitions – and he really enjoyed the girl on girl.

    Since you know him personaly please pass on my thanks (and e-mail address.ha ha)

    As much as I’ve looked I cant find a fan site to which the man deserves?
    Can you tell me if one exists???


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